Who's Bill Browski? Bill Browski is this amazing guy I met at the gym. He had a ripped set of washboard abs, and he knew how to use them. Browski would strut around the gym, talking on a cell phone, flexing his lats, his biceps, his abs. I don't think I ever saw him actually use a machine, he just showed up to show off.

Browski was always talking about omega 3 capsules. He loved those little fish oil caps.

"Jack!" he'd scream into his cellphone. "Jack! You got to try these little pills! You gotta pop 'em! They're great! Fish oil! Yeah! YEAH!!!! TAKE THEM!!!!" Browski could really get himself worked up.

One time I saw Browski take a nose dive into a rowing machine. He was jabbering on about some best antioxidant to his guy pal on the cell when he tripped and face planted right against the pull bar of the rowing machine.

Most people would laugh, shrug it off, say "Damn, that hurt!" and move on.

Not Browski.

Browski kneels on the ground holding his face for a moment, then climbs right onto the rowing machine and starts pumping away as fast as he can. Like he planned to mount the rowing machine via swan dive. The funny thing is Jack was still waiting on the cellphone, now discarded on the ground, screaming back "Bill! Browski! What about those Antioxidants, Browski! What's the orac value, Browski! Browski!!!"